What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
