so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My vagina is very pro this idea
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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