capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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