Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
