I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
