i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
