blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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