Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Life is so much better after having sex.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
