hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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