Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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