I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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