I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It was confusing and full of hummus
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
