We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
