Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry BrettBroski hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(760): View more from California

O no, u 2 are dating again?

(503): View more from Oregon

No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture

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(315): View more from New York

Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"

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(330): View more from Ohio

just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.

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(619): View more from California

I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!

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(250): View more from British Columbia

holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?

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