Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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