I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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