OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
