the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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