2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
