Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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