Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
