your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
