how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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