ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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