let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
there was a trapeze. enough said
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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