I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
