If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
