This is not my ceiling
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
