If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
