i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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