I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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