Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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