Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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