Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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