My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
