i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
