A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize