carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
