Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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