What did we do last night that was yellow?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
