I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
