He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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