So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I wear drunk well.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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