Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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