You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
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I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
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"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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