please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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