just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Still dying that you shit outside
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
