They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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