You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
