yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Houston, we have a squirter
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
