i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
