Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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