We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
