Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Pants 0. Shit 1.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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