these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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