He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
