i just wanna soil my oats bro
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
