grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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